Advocating for Yourself at Work (Part 2)

By Susan M Vitale

In Part 1 of this two-part Self-Advocacy series, I talked about the conditions that increase the odds of successfully standing up for your needs at work. Once these conditions are in place, and you’ve given clear thought to what you’re advocating for and how to communicate its benefits, here are a few pointers on how to improve your chances of walking away with what you’re requesting:

• Practice your delivery to ensure you favor assertion vs aggression. How you come across in this conversation is your responsibility and will greatly impact your odds of success. “Managing up” means conveying to your manager that you uniquely appreciate his/her obligations and goals. Using words and examples that express regard for the work of the whole team, command of the organization’s mission and your role in it, and respect for the person to whom you are appealing will go a long way toward getting the attention and support you desire. “I am aware that the workload for the whole team has increased over the last 6 months, and I stand ready to take on more responsibility,” will garner greater consideration than anything that sounds like: “I’m bored with my current responsibilities and want more interesting work.” While those might be extreme examples, they illustrate a continuum of possibilities. Coming closer to the former with your approach provides the highest chance of successful self-advocacy.

• Stretch yourself; Be bold. Ironically, it is often the people who have strong service-mentalities — doing for others remains their top priority — who deserve and need to advocate for themselves but are reticent to do so. If you’re one of those people, seek help and support to move outside of your comfort zone. Think about ways you can advocate for others while advocating for yourself. And most importantly, trust that your service-orientation – the fact that you’re known for putting others first – means you will likely get attention when you choose to stand up for yourself. To hold yourself accountable, schedule time with your supervisor to ensure you have undivided attention to clearly state your needs and have ample conversation.

• Be open-minded to the outcome. While your going-in premise might be the exact thing you desire, self-advocacy often leads to negotiation. Your manager, for example, might have to consider elements of your request that are not entirely clear to you. Budget constraints, the needs of others, or unannounced strategic changes are just a few examples of the bigger picture she or he will consider as you state your proposal. Managing up means expecting and accepting variations he / she may offer if they get you closer to your end goal. Working from home 1 day/ week, even though you wanted 3, gives you a chance to demonstrate the potential value of the arrangement. Co-leading the big project that you wanted to do solo gives you a chance to share the workload and have a thinking-partner to enhance the chance of success. Give the person to whom you’re advocating time to consider your request, and then assertively follow-up to close the loop, and listen to what they propose. Inflexibility in the face of a slightly different offer or approach might leave you empty-handed.

• Set and maintain boundaries. No one has the right to mistreat or disrespect you. If you’re faced with the need to advocate for yourself because you are being wronged, you can skip all the above and go right to HR, an ombudsman, EAP, or other trusted resources to state your case and get the support you deserve. Everything I’ve said so far assumes well-intentioned managers who engage in respectful relationships with their employees. If you feel a personal or professional boundary has been crossed, do not hesitate to get the confidential attention you need to resolve it.

Successful advocacy begins with you earning and owning your value in the workplace, requires you to acknowledge and respectfully yield your personal power, and ultimately develops a skill set that will allow you to effectively stand up for yourself in all aspects of your life.