Feeling Stuck? 4 Proven Tactics to Get Moving Again
By Susan M Vitale
We all feel stuck sometimes. You know the sensation that appears when you take on an improvement in your life, or a daunting project, or a big, bold, and brilliant goal. No matter how much you want to get moving you feel like your feet are ensnared in a tangle of questions (Where do I even start? Can I really do this? Who do I actually think I am?). As soon as you begin, you encounter obstacles in your path that grow before your eyes into insurmountable boulders. At best, it feels like you’re mired in a dense bog where every forward step becomes arduous and every bit of progress takes an emotional, physical, and mental toll. At worst, you’re stuck in one place revving your engine, pouring all your precious fuel into the effort, gaining zero traction.
As a writer, now moving intentionally ahead with a book that has occupied my thoughts and filled my heart for more than a decade, I am familiar with how it feels to get stuck. Over the last 5 months, working earnestly to create something that equally makes me proud and makes a difference in the lives of the people who read it, I have tripped over the brambles, encountered tremendous boulders, nearly drowned in the bog, and spun my wheels more times than I can count. Some days, the stuck-ness shows up when I wake in the morning plagued by self-doubt. Other times, it appears when I put my fingers to keys, a blank screen in front of me, and nothing emerges. And still others, it takes hold when I permit the countless unknowns and worries to stop me in my tracks. Most days, I recognize it for the simple energy drain that is an inevitable part of any important process.
As a result, I’ve learned a lot about getting unstuck, and what I’ve discovered applies no matter the personal journey, creative process, or life-long goal you’re pursuing. Using my writing experience as a jumping-off point, I’ll share what I know. Each of you will find some of these “unsticking devices” to be simple and obvious and others more challenging. Please let me know which one(s) work for you!
- Change your perspective:
Sometimes when we’re stuck, we need to examine how we are viewing the thing that has us immobilized. An example of this from my writing process is when I admitted how difficult it was to call myself a “writer.” Other than a small article for a professional journal and a handful of articles eons ago in a college newspaper, I’d never actually published anything. Somehow, this perspective that I am not officially a writer combined with my inability to confidently answer the question “what have you written?” kept me from doing the very thing I felt called to do. Finally, someone brilliantly said to me: “There’s one thing you need to do to call yourself a writer…write.” The simple reframing of perspective was all I needed to begin this journey. I even took a photo of a favorite journal and pen to commemorate the start of my trek and remind myself I have one thing to do, and that’s write.
There’s also a very literal interpretation of changing perspective. When we hunker down to complete tasks, we limit our ability to generate ideas or be creative. Sitting hunched over a computer, for example, cuts off access to (at least) the four lower chakras, key sources of inspiration, creativity, self-worth, decisiveness, and hope. Similarly, staring at the same view for a long time limits our mind’s ability to let in new, perhaps enlightening information. I often find that it’s when I take a break from writing that the most creative and informative thoughts emerge. When I am really good at this, I force myself to walk away from the keyboard just when I think it’s going well. A quick activity or a short diversion always helps me take a good idea and make it better. The entire seed for this blog formed when I walked down to our lake and spontaneously took a picture of the chairs reflected in my husband’s sunglasses just because I thought it was cool!
The next time a perspective wraps you so tightly you can’t move forward, ask: “How might I shift that perspective and land on a new one to cut some of the weeds entangling my ankles?” And, “What is an image or object I can keep close to remind me of a different viewpoint?” Also, next time you feel stuck, try physically changing your perspective. Move to a different spot, go for a short walk, or look at your work from, quite literally, a different angle. Movement and physical relocation are essential to changing our perspectives!
2. Honor your energy
Every goal or project comes with a myriad of tasks and calls on a variety of our talents. Writing a book, for example, is not always about generating words on a page. It involves substantial effort editing to improve clarity, creating graphics to illustrate main ideas, researching articles and studies to buttress viewpoints, and—in this age when social media presence is essential to attract an audience and eventually a publisher – crafting witty Twitter posts or eye-catching Insta images.
What I learned these last months is that I might go to bed imagining I’ll tackle a specific element of my writing the next day, thinking, for example, “Tomorrow I resolve to write a blog!” But in the morning, the inspiration for the blog doesn’t quite hit and I suddenly spot a giant, immovable obstacle looming before me, making every key strike Herculean. Instead, I might have the energy to do some research on a topic that’s been eluding me or to tweak graphics for another one. Rather than lunging into the writing task, shoulder firmly pressed against the boulder lodged in my way, I would often choose to take the path that honored my passion, interest, and energy at that moment. Each time I made the conscious choice to honor my energy, I found my passion for the project returned and my productivity flourished.
Next time you notice your energy for your project is dwindling, ask yourself: “What portion of the project most calls my attention?” Or “Of all the elements of the work I could do, where can the energy I have today best be used?” More simply, “What is one thing I feel compelled to do today to move this work forward?” Then, begin it!
3. Take the next step
While it is awesome to have a vision, make grand plans, and pursue goals, sometimes their magnitude overwhelms us and that’s when we become stuck. It is our tendency as humans to extrapolate and envision all the steps we must take to achieve a result. At times, when I thought beyond the current chapter in my book or next blog for my website, I’d truly take in the enormity of the process of writing and publishing a book. Without warning, I’d feel the murky bog rising around me, making the filling of each blank page grueling. When that happened, I’d gently remind myself that all I needed was to take the next step. Each time I did, something miraculous happened. The next step became clearer and easier, and before I knew it, the bog drained, exposing unimaginable resources, opportunities, and possibilities, and I was confidently striding forward.
For example, I was temporarily hobbled by the realization that building a social media platform– not just typing away like Jack Nicholson’s character in The Shining–needed to become my #1 priority. (I think I’d have rather found myself lost in the maze at the Overlook Hotel than facing the demands of lodging a new social media campaign.) I’d awake at night with fears and worries, and at my worst, I considered giving up on the whole idea of writing a book. Soon, however, I realized that this thing that bogged me down would seem trivial to someone half-my age, so what did I do? I picked up the phone and called someone half my age.
She taught me how to take the next few steps and before I knew it, I had lined up a professional photoshoot, created an aesthetically pleasing, catchy Instagram graphic (see right), designed my logo, and hired a team to redo my ancient website. The website pros taught me about social media lift and helped me set up the space where I soon published my first blogs. Here’s the miracle part. Each step opened me to new possibilities, and none of that would have happened if I had not taken the first step.
Next time you become immobilized by a series of efforts that together seem overwhelming, pause long enough to ask: “What is the very next step I must take?” Then take it. And remember, as the next and final point in this article suggests, don’t be afraid to ask for a hand to pull you out of the murky bog.
4. Ask for and accept help
Which is harder for you, asking for help or accepting it? I found myself challenged by both throughout this writing process. Sometimes I would spin my wheels and burn precious fuel, determined to figure it out myself, only to become discouraged, stalled, and downright grumpy. Other times, I’d ask for help and then pull back at the slightest perceived criticism.
For me, honestly, it was not until I came close to giving up that I decided it was unrealistic to expect myself to be an expert on all the elements of this thing I’d never done before. I began to find resources in some of the most unexpected places. Through Twitter, I found an editor who’s been immensely helpful. From my son, I learned tips and tricks to build my social media presence, while my daughter began creating my graphics. One of my daughter’s closest friends spent hours teaching me the ins and outs of social media, while her mother helped me visualize my new logo and tagline. From my dear friend in Norway, I gained the knowledge and the courage to begin making videos while an old friend I’d not spoken to in years walked me through the maze of becoming a podcaster (stay tuned for more on that in the weeks ahead). The list of sources of help for this endeavor is endless, and it is not a cliché when I say I’d not be this far into my journey, gaining traction every day, without their talents, support, and dedication to me. And, I know I’ve much more of the journey ahead. Now, however, I will make speedier progress because I know where and when to ask for help to get my wheels unstuck. And, I know how to graciously accept it.
Next time you’re spinning your wheels on an important endeavor, ask yourself: “Why do I expect to be the expert on the whole thing?” and “Who can I ask for ideas, suggestions, or help?” Even, “Do I need to hire someone to help with x, y, or z, so I can focus on what really matters?” And perhaps most importantly, “How can I graciously accept what is offered to help me move full steam ahead?”
Don’t forget to let me know which of these tactics works for you!
©Susan M Vitale, 2019